Marriage brings out many emotions. Between happy tears and nervous jitters, there’s room for good laughs. Marriage deserves celebration with both heart and humor.
Want to make people laugh at a wedding while keeping things tasteful and memorable? These sample speeches demonstrate how to mix humor and meaningful messages, whether you’re the best man, maid of honor, parent, or close friend of the newlyweds.
Funny Speeches about Marriage
Six carefully written speeches that mix humor with heartfelt messages to celebrate the happy couple.
1. The Best Friend’s Toast
Ladies and gentlemen, Sarah and Mike met in quite an unusual way. She was trying to teach her cat yoga, and he was walking his neighbor’s goldfish. Yes, you heard that right. Who would have thought these two oddballs would end up together?
Sarah has always been the organized one. She color-codes her closet and alphabetizes her spice rack. Mike thinks matching socks are optional and believes expired food is just a suggestion.
But somehow, they make it work. Like that time Sarah created a spreadsheet for their first date, with backup plans for rain, snow, or alien invasion. Mike showed up 20 minutes late with a half-eaten sandwich and charm that made Sarah forget all about her perfectly planned schedule.
They balance each other perfectly. Sarah helps Mike keep track of important things, like wearing pants to work. And Mike helps Sarah learn to relax, showing her that sometimes the best memories come from unplanned moments.
Their relationship has given us so many great stories. Think about the time Mike tried to impress Sarah’s parents by cooking dinner? The fire department still uses that incident in their training videos. But Sarah’s dad liked Mike’s dedication to putting out the kitchen fire so much that he gave them his blessing right there.
Through all their adventures and misadventures, one thing has stayed clear. These two belong together. Sarah and Mike, you show that love doesn’t need to be perfect. It just needs to be real, honest, and filled with laughter.
To the happy couple. May your life together be as organized as Sarah’s sock drawer and as spontaneous as Mike’s approach to expiration dates. Here’s to a lifetime of balancing each other out and creating more stories for us to share at your anniversary parties.
— END OF SPEECH —
Commentary: This speech uses situational humor and gentle ribbing to highlight the couple’s contrasting personalities. Perfect for a best man or maid of honor who knows both the bride and groom well. Works great at both the wedding reception and rehearsal dinner.
2. The Sister’s Speech
Good evening, everyone. As Rachel’s sister, there are many embarrassing stories to share about her tonight. But since she knows where all my baby photos are hidden, we’ll stick to the recent ones.
Growing up with Rachel was like living with a walking romantic comedy. She went through a phase where she swore she’d only marry someone who could recite all the state capitals backward while juggling. Tom, thank goodness you learned at least half of them. That shows real commitment.
Rachel has always had interesting ideas about relationships. In high school, she created a boyfriend application form. It had questions like “On a scale of 1-10, how likely are you to remember my birthday without a Facebook reminder?” and “Do you understand that chocolate is a food group?”
When Rachel first told us about Tom, we knew something was different. For starters, she didn’t make him fill out the application. Instead, she actually forgot to run a background check on him. That’s when we realized she must really be in love.
Tom, you’ve been such a wonderful addition to our family. You laugh at Dad’s terrible jokes, you help Mom with her technology problems, and most importantly, you make Rachel happier than a kid in a candy store with an unlimited budget.
What makes your relationship special is how you support each other’s quirks. Rachel, you pretend to understand when Tom talks about his latest tech gadgets. Tom, you act impressed when Rachel shows you her color-coordinated grocery lists.
You two share the kind of love that makes other people believe in happy endings. The way you look at each other, the way you make each other laugh, and the way you handle challenges together. It’s like watching a masterclass in what marriage should be.
Looking at you both today, all dressed up and glowing with happiness, fills my heart with joy. Rachel, you’re not just my sister. You’re my best friend, my partner in crime, and now a beautiful bride. Tom, you’re the brother we always wanted, even though Rachel originally specified “no tech nerds” in her dating criteria.
To my dear sister and her wonderful new husband. May your love continue to grow stronger each day. May you always find reasons to laugh together. And Tom, may you eventually learn all fifty state capitals backward. We’re rooting for you.
Here’s to Rachel and Tom. Two people who prove that love is better than any romantic comedy, especially when it’s real.
— END OF SPEECH —
Commentary: A heartwarming blend of sisterly teasing and genuine affection. This speech works particularly well for siblings of the bride or groom, especially at wedding receptions where family bonds are celebrated.
3. The Childhood Friend’s Toast
Hello everyone. For those who don’t know me, David and I have been friends since kindergarten. That’s right. We’ve been friends since the time he thought glue was a food group and I believed that clouds were made of cotton candy.
David has always been special. In elementary school, he once convinced our entire class that he was secretly a superhero. His evidence? He had never been seen in the same room as Batman. The logic was flawless for a bunch of six-year-olds.
As we grew up, David’s imagination never faded. He just found better ways to use it. Like the time he spent three months planning the perfect way to ask Jessica out. He created an elaborate scavenger hunt that led her all around town, only to find him at the end, holding a sign that said, “Will you go out with me? Check yes or maybe. No isn’t an option.”
Jessica, you should know that David practiced his first-date conversation topics with me for weeks. He had index cards with pre-approved jokes and interesting facts about marine biology. Why marine biology? Because you mentioned once that you liked dolphins. That’s the kind of guy David is.
What makes you two perfect for each other is how you bring out the best in each other. Jessica, you’ve helped David channel his creative energy into productive directions. Thanks to you, he no longer tries to convince people he’s Batman’s secret identity.
David, you’ve helped Jessica embrace her playful side. Now she’s the one suggesting midnight pizza runs and impromptu dance parties in the living room. You two have created your own little world of joy and adventure.
Your love story is like something out of a movie, but better because it’s real. Like that time you both got locked out of your apartment and turned it into an impromptu picnic in the hallway. Or when you adopted that three-legged cat because, as David said, “She has an excellent sense of humor about her situation.”
You make marriage look like the most wonderful adventure anyone could ask for. The way you support each other’s dreams, laugh at each other’s jokes, and face life’s challenges together is truly inspiring.
To everyone here tonight, raise your glasses to David and Jessica. Two people who remind us that true love isn’t about being perfect. It’s about finding someone who makes your weird match their weird perfectly.
May your life together be filled with more adventures, more laughter, and maybe fewer attempts to convince people of secret superhero identities. Though Jessica, if you ever need backup on the Batman theory, just give me a call.
Here’s to my best friend and his amazing wife. May your love story continue to be the best kind of weird there is.
— END OF SPEECH —
Commentary: This speech masterfully weaves together childhood memories with current relationship dynamics. Ideal for longtime friends speaking at wedding receptions, especially when the audience includes guests from different phases of the couple’s lives.
4. The Father of the Bride’s Speech
Good evening, everyone. As Emily’s father, this is a moment filled with mixed emotions. Happy tears, proud smiles, and the realization that my credit card can finally take a break from all those wedding expenses.
From the day Emily was born, she’s been determined to do things her own way. She walked early, talked early, and once tried to negotiate a better bedtime using a PowerPoint presentation. She was four.
When Emily brought James home for the first time, he impressed me right away. Not because of his job or his manners, though both are excellent. No, he impressed me because he genuinely laughed at my dad jokes. Either he has a great sense of humor or he’s an excellent actor. Either way, he’s perfect for our family.
You see, James understands something very important about Emily. He knows that she needs her morning coffee before any important conversations. He appreciates her passion for rescuing plants from the clearance section at the garden center. And most importantly, he supports her belief that pizza is an acceptable breakfast food.
Their relationship has given us some unforgettable moments. Like the time they tried to assemble furniture together. Three hours in, they were still debating whether the instructions were in Swedish or Danish. The bookshelf ended up looking more like modern art, but they were laughing the whole time.
James has become the son I never had. He helps me with technology, pretends to enjoy watching golf with me, and even fixed my garage door opener. Though I’m still not sure if he actually fixed it or just bought a new one. Either way, I’m grateful.
To Emily, my beautiful daughter. Watching you grow into the amazing woman you are today has been the greatest joy of my life. From the little girl who insisted on wearing her Halloween costume to school every day for a month, to the confident woman standing here today, you’ve always made me proud.
James, welcome to the family officially. Though let’s be honest, you became family the moment you helped Emily rescue that sad-looking fern from the hardware store. Thank you for loving my daughter, for making her happy, and for being the kind of man a father can trust with his daughter’s heart.
Marriage is a beautiful journey, filled with ups and downs, laughter and tears, and hopefully not too many attempts at DIY furniture assembly. But watching you two together, I have no doubt you’ll handle whatever life throws at you with grace, love, and humor.
Some say a father loses a daughter in marriage. But I don’t see it that way. Today, I’ve gained a son, and my daughter has gained a partner who makes her eyes light up and her smile shine brighter than ever.
Emily and James, may your love continue to grow stronger each day. May you always find reasons to laugh together. And may you always remember that love, like that rescued fern, needs care, attention, and occasional replanting to thrive.
So please, raise your glasses to Emily and James. To a lifetime of love, laughter, and perfectly imperfect furniture assembly adventures.
— END OF SPEECH —
Commentary: A touching blend of fatherly wisdom and playful observations. This speech strikes the right note for fathers who want to express their love while keeping the mood light. Most appropriate for the wedding reception, particularly during the traditional father’s toast.
5. The Maid of Honor’s Speech
Good evening! As Lisa’s maid of honor and partner in countless adventures, I’m here to share some stories about our beloved bride and her charming new husband, Mark.
Lisa and I met in college, where she was known for her unique dating strategy. She had a points system for potential boyfriends. Ten points for good grammar, minus five for wearing socks with sandals, and automatic disqualification for saying “irregardless.”
Then she met Mark. He showed up to their first date wearing socks with sandals and used “irregardless” twice in one sentence. But something magical happened. Lisa forgot all about her points system. Why? Because Mark made her laugh so hard she snorted her drink through her nose. That’s when we all knew he was the one.
Their relationship has been a series of adorable mishaps and heartwarming moments. Take their first attempt at cooking together. They decided to make a romantic dinner. The recipe said it would take 30 minutes. Three hours later, they were eating cereal on the balcony, covered in flour, but smiling like they’d just created a masterpiece.
Mark brings out the best in Lisa. Before him, she was a meticulous planner who color-coded her calendar. Now she’s a meticulous planner who occasionally agrees to spontaneous adventures. That’s character growth right there.
Lisa has also influenced Mark in wonderful ways. He now understands that clean clothes don’t have to live in the laundry basket. He’s learned that plants need water to survive. And most impressively, he’s mastered the art of taking Instagram-worthy photos of Lisa’s brunch.
What makes their relationship special is how they handle life’s little challenges. When they got stuck in traffic on their way to a fancy dinner reservation, they turned it into an impromptu car karaoke session. When their power went out during a storm, they built a blanket fort and told ghost stories.
They support each other’s dreams, no matter how quirky. Like when Mark decided he wanted to learn juggling, Lisa helped him practice even though their lamp collection suffered significant casualties. And when Lisa decided to start a blog about urban squirrel watching, Mark became her dedicated photography assistant.
To the happy couple, your love story reminds us that the best relationships aren’t about finding someone perfect. They’re about finding someone who makes your weird match their weird perfectly.
Their relationship proves that love doesn’t need a point system or perfect grammar. It just needs two people who can laugh together, grow together, and face life’s adventures hand in hand.
So let’s raise our glasses to Lisa and Mark. May your love continue to grow stronger each day, may your adventures never end, and may you always remember that socks with sandals brought you together.
Here’s to a lifetime of making each other laugh until drinks come out of noses. Cheers!
— END OF SPEECH —
Commentary: A delightfully personal speech that celebrates the couple’s quirks and chemistry. Perfect for a maid of honor or best man who has witnessed the relationship develop from its early stages. Works beautifully at both rehearsal dinners and wedding receptions.
6. The Grandmother’s Toast
My darlings, seeing you both here today brings such joy to my heart. And since I’ve been married for 52 years, I think I know a thing or two about what makes a marriage work.
First off, let me tell you about your grandfather. When we first met, he tried to impress me by saying he knew how to cook Italian food. Turns out his idea of Italian cuisine was putting ketchup on spaghetti. But he made me laugh, and sometimes that’s more important than culinary skills.
Marriage is full of surprises. Some days you’ll wake up and wonder how you got so lucky. Other days you’ll wonder if your spouse was raised by wolves. Like the time your grandfather decided to “fix” our kitchen sink. We had to shower at the neighbor’s house for a week.
But here’s the secret. A good marriage needs three things. Love, of course. Patience, definitely. And a sense of humor. Without that last one, you’ll never survive the day your partner decides to give themselves a haircut or tries to prove they can still do a cartwheel at age 50.
Communication is key, but so is knowing when to just smile and nod. Your grandfather once bought me a vacuum cleaner for our anniversary. Did I say anything? No. I just wrapped up his new ironing board extra pretty for Christmas.
You two remind me so much of your grandfather and me when we were young. The way you look at each other, the way you make each other laugh, the way you handle problems together. Though I must say, you dress much better than we did in our day. Those paisley suits were not our finest moment.
Marriage is like a dance. Sometimes you step on each other’s toes, sometimes you move in perfect harmony, and sometimes one of you is doing the chicken dance while the other tries to waltz. But as long as you’re dancing together, that’s all that matters.
Your grandfather and I have shared so many wonderful years together. We’ve laughed, we’ve cried, we’ve argued about whose turn it is to take out the garbage. But at the end of each day, we still choose each other.
To my beautiful grandchildren, may your marriage be blessed with as much love and laughter as ours. May you always find reasons to smile together, even when one of you puts ketchup on perfectly good pasta.
Remember, marriage isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being perfect for each other. And from what I can see, you two have that part figured out already.
Life will bring you many adventures, some planned, some unexpected. Face them together with love in your hearts and smiles on your faces. And never forget that sometimes the best stories come from the moments when things don’t go as planned.
Take care of each other, cherish each other, and most importantly, keep making each other laugh. A home filled with laughter is a home filled with love.
So here’s to the happy couple. May your love grow stronger with each passing day, and may you always find joy in life’s little moments together.
Commentary: A beautifully crafted speech that combines timeless wisdom with lighthearted humor. Drawing from personal experience and using relatable anecdotes about everyday married life, this grandmother’s toast mixes practical advice with heartwarming stories.
Wrap-up
Marriage should bring joy and laughter. These speeches show how to celebrate love with good humor while honoring the deep connection between two people starting their lives together.
Whether giving or receiving these toasts, let the happiness shine through. After all, a marriage built on love and laughter has all the ingredients for lasting happiness.